But I'm not really talking about all of the abstract components of myself. Lately, I've been digging back into my ancestry for answers to my connection to the earth and spirituality. Being in Scotland was a dream. I met a version of myself I had never known. And I saw all kinds of people and events that resonated within me. I always said I felt like my venture to Scotland was ... to quote a John Denver lyric... like "coming home to a place [I'd] never been before."
But that is not the only ancestral piece of myself I have been unearthing. Through research I've discovered just how much Cherokee I have. It's kind of astounding that it's such a dominant role and yet I know so very little. This past summer I made an attempt to reconcile this. I went to the National Museum of AmerIndian Studies. Wonderful building. Hauntingly beautiful and joyfully expressive all at once. I spent hours. I know my mum was kind of bored. Or at least tired of being on her feet. But I couldn't stop absorbing everything. I went to every floor. Looked at every major exhibit. Watched a couple films. I saved the Cherokee exhibit for last. I was so excited. There were so many questions I wanted answered. So many things I wanted to connect with.
But there was no Cherokee exhibit. All there was was a solitary bulletin board where three pictures of Cherokee women were quoted and posted. It was so unsettling. I mean I know there are other ways to connect with this people. But all of a sudden I just felt so lonely in my search. And I realise that 1/16 Cherokee isn't much to push someone along in their search.
But it meant something to me. It's been something that I've wanted to understand.How are my religious philosophies shaped? Where does my connection to the earth come from? I know it's a combination of all of my ancestor's and probably countless years of agrarian involvement. But what else?
Who are these people and how am I connected to them?
1 comment:
I know exactly how you felt when you went to Scotland. That's how I felt when I went to Japan the first time and the most recent. Still lots of things I want to go back and find out about. I didn't know you were part Indian. I think we need to have lunch sometime and catch up. It's been far too long and I'm interested to bounce some ideas off of you and talk about life.
Post a Comment